Moving is of course already a very hectic event, let alone when you are moving with children! How a child experiences a move depends entirely on the child itself and its age. Are you moving soon with children? Then you should read on quickly, because perhaps our tips can help you a little on your way.
Good guidance during relocation
Moving can make people happy, but also sad. When you move to a bigger or nicer house, this is of course fantastic, but if you have to move because of a divorce, this is unfortunately a completely different story.
But well, unfortunately, what may seem positive to us adults does not necessarily have to be positive for children. Maybe your child thinks your current home is big enough and he/she is happy there. One thing that is certain is that a move has a great effect on the family.
Attention for your child
You can start by explaining the move to your child in a calm and positive way. If you explain everything in a fun and positive way, you will notice that your child will gain confidence through your good energy and you will automatically arouse curiosity and enthusiasm in the child.
Yes, of course, it can also sometimes happen that your child will become angry or sad. This is possible and is also a completely normal reaction. In such a situation, let your child know that you understand him/her and make sure that you pay enough attention to your child and your child's feelings. This will give your child peace.
Moving with young children
A good tip is that you should not tell younger children too early about your possible moving plans. Young children do not understand everything very well and for them time is an abstract concept. This can make the news unpleasant for them, because when something is unclear to a child it can make him/her very insecure. Your child does not know when or where you are going to move and this can cause your child a lot of stress.
A nice event
When you are moving, it is therefore best to wait with the news until you are really sure about it and everything is set in stone. When this is the case, you can tell the news calmly. A nice little thing you can do with your child is to stick a nice eye-catching sticker next to the moving date on your calendar. That way, you can count down to the move together every day. In this way, you can show your child in a visual way how many nights of sleep he or she still has and you can make your child extra enthusiastic. In this way, you also unconsciously reassure your child.
Good preparation when moving with children
People often think that babies have no problems with moving, because they don't understand it anyway. Unfortunately, this is not the case. Babies can take on the feelings of their parents very well. Especially the mother. This means that you as parents should try to have as little stress as possible during the move. But of course, this is easier said than done.
What is a good way to move stress-free is to ensure a good and clear planning in advance. That way everyone knows what to expect. You can also enlist help from your environment. Think of grandparents who can babysit for an afternoon on the moving day itself.
Babies and toddlers
If you are a parent of a baby or toddler, it is wise to furnish the new room in the same way as the old nursery. This way, you can ensure that your child will notice the move as little as possible, because your child will not miss the old familiar environment. This way, the bedtime ritual can also remain virtually the same. And coincidentally, the bedtime ritual is one of the most important aspects at this age. Therefore, make sure that you do not throw your child's bedding/sleeping bag in the wash immediately, because the smell can make the child feel calm in bed, in the new environment.
Toddlers
For toddlers, moving is also a major event. This is because they are at an age where they are just becoming aware of their familiar surroundings. You can imagine that it does not feel good when they have to leave them again. They also have to go to a new school. Because of all these aspects, it is important that you explain to your child what moving means.
You can also take your children to your new home a few times so that they can gradually get used to the change that is coming. Of course, it is true that a child's old room is his whole world, but on the other hand, home is for a child mainly the place where mom and dad are.
So try to make sure that you, the parents, are always within reach in the new house. This way your child will feel safe at all times during the initial phase.
Toddlers
When you are the parent of a toddler, it is fun and certainly wise to involve your child extra in the move. So don't just go and look at the new house together, but also go and explore the new neighborhood together or let your child help decorate his/her new nursery.
Getting to know a new neighborhood
When you take your child to your new home, it is also useful to let your child get to know his/her new room. Let them think about decorating the room and try to involve them as much as possible. This way they can get to know the environment better.
The new school
If you move to a new neighborhood, your child will probably have to go to a new school. Make sure you choose the new school carefully. Visit several schools and ask about their lessons and teaching methods. If a school is ahead or behind the old school, it can cause confusion for your child and unnecessary stress. The teachers at the other school will certainly be happy to help you with this.
The new room
It is fun to decorate the new room together and involve your child in the move, but try not to change too much. Do not immediately look for new furniture or for example a larger bed, because children can experience stress which in turn can cause them to wet the bed. And of course you do not want that! Therefore try not to replace the larger furniture immediately, but place new small things in the new room and let your child choose them themselves.
Saying goodbye is part of it
It may therefore happen that your child will not initially react enthusiastically to the move. In such a situation, do not immediately go on the defensive, but try to give your child space. Talk together about your child's wishes and feelings. Listen carefully and show understanding. Children naturally think very differently from adults and in such situations their emotions are stronger. After the less pleasant conversation, you can perhaps do some more fun things.
Do fun things together
Together you can think of fun things to do during the move or make a list of positive aspects of the new environment. Explain to your child in advance that he/she will make new friends. This thought can ease the pain of saying goodbye to friends at the current school or from the old place of residence. You can also let your child treat at school or go to the neighbors together to say goodbye. This way you can end everything together in a healthy way!
Your new home
As you may have read earlier, it is better to furnish the children's room as in the old house. This way, your child can get used to the new house in peace. This also applies to the rituals in your new house. Try to hold on to the old and familiar habits immediately after the move. Think of mealtime or when the children have to go to bed.
It is also wise to try to get everything over with as quickly as possible. Yes, at first it may seem that your child enjoys playing between the boxes and falling asleep, because this is quite an adventure for them. Super exciting of course! But unfortunately it can cause a negative relapse after a while. A child's realization can only kick in later.
When you make everything run as smoothly and predictably as possible, you give your child a good foundation.
Go out with your child. Explore not only your new home together, but also the garden and the neighborhood. Find the nearest playground and explain everything again along the way. You should also try to encourage your child to make new friends at his/her new school. Make play dates with other parents so that the children can play together.
The new teachers
A good tip is to keep in close contact with the teachers at school about this. This way they can keep you informed about your child's progress and the adjustment phase at school.
Homesickness is not crazy
Of course, it can also happen that your child suddenly starts missing your old house and his old friends. This is also a very normal reaction. When this happens, you can perhaps visit the old neighborhood together again or make play dates with the parents of the old friends. When you do these things, your child sees and feels that you understand him/her and also pay attention to him/her.
After a while, when you see your child getting more and more used to your new life and environment, you will see that everything will fall into place.
Practical tips
Exploring everything together is an important point that we have already discussed, but this is not the only thing that can help. You can also involve your child in setting up the new room. This way you can make it easier for your child to move.
Children who are a little older
We have mainly talked about the younger children, but we must not forget that older children also need attention during a move. Fortunately, older children understand a bit more, but this does not mean that they do not need extra attention. Therefore, try to cuddle your children more often, talk about the move and take your time together for everything.
Mental resistance
Sometimes a long time passes and the children's adjustment still does not go well. When you think that it is not going better, you can sit down with your child to talk about it. Discuss the fun aspects of the move together, but also the less fun aspects of moving. Let your child get his/her heart off his/her chest and show understanding.
Your child's body posture
Also try to pay attention to your child's body posture during this period. You often notice things through their non-verbal communication. They can also suffer from outbursts or be extra quiet. You as a parent know your child best and will notice this quickly.
Professional help
If giving extra attention does not help and it does not get better, it is best to visit your GP. Through your GP you can arrange for extra guidance. Think of a child coach, for example.
A child coach
The child coach can work with the parents to ensure that the new environment will quickly change into a familiar environment. With extra help, it will not only be easier for the parents to get used to it, but also for the child.
